We all have that one friend who’s really really clumsy and will always come home with several injuries and stories about what went wrong. Let us be two of those clumsy people. As a result we discovered quite a few new inconvenient injuries during our trip through Central America, of which you may have never thought about. If the following stories are obvious or common sense to you, you’re obviously not clumsy. For our clumsy fellas: because sharing is caring, here are some of our stories. Hopefully you won’t judge us and hopefully you’ll learn from our miseries.

Don’t go horseback riding with bare legs.

In Central America it’s a common activity to go horseback riding. Discover nature in the purest way, ride along the beautiful beaches and live the cowboy life – YAHOOO. We know, sounds amazing right? Well not if you didn’t know that it’s actually not that comfortable to jump on the back of that horse without wearing long trousers. Never ever go horseback riding without a proper pair of trousers. Don’t be fooled by the weather or don’t try to copy some of the locals. We found it out the hard way and had to jump off that horse after 30 minutes with literally bleeding legs. Result: we walked around with burns all over our legs for one month and we’re still happy owners of pretty scars.

Really listen. And don’t pretend to listen.

Like we actually never read terms and conditions or instructions, we also tend to miss half of the instructions from the tour companies while they explain how to prepare for a excursion. Another common activity in Central America is climbing a volcano, which is beautiful, but must not be underestimated for an easy peasy stroll in the park. When we climbed our first volcano, we found out – half way to the top – that we didn’t bring enough water. Instead of the 3 litres per person, we brought 3 litres for the 3 of us. Result: we couldn’t go any further due to dehydration dangers and had to walk back immediately. Such a waste of all the effort. And even though the tour companies might say you look fit and you’ll definitely be able to climb that volcano with a heavy backpack filled with enough water, a tent, food, warm clothes etc.-, we strongly advise you to ask for donkeys/horses to carry your bags. It will make your climb a lot more fun and bearable!

Adults don’t get head lice? False.

When we were young and going to primary school, many of us were lucky enough to share our scalp with those pesky little creatures who feed of making your head an itchy mess! From a certain age they don’t cross your mind anymore, as if they have never existed. Then after a few days of heavy itchiness, you start wondering what that could be. Is it the sand? Is it dandruff? Nope, it’s head lice. Well, believe us, it is a huge inconvenience when you’re traveling in a country where they don’t sell strong lotions or a proper nit comb to get rid of these creatures. In the end the most natural medicine paid off: vinegar and helpful friends (for guys: go for the Walter White look). Besides discovering that adults actually can get head lice, we extended our Spanish vocabulary with two beautiful words: piojos (headlice) and liendres (nits).

Meet the algae family…

When we were enjoying one of the most beautiful islands of Nicaragua we decided to go on a sunset snorkel tour. This is something you shouldn’t miss during your trip by the way! While we were enjoying being surrounded by beautiful fishes in the sea, suddenly a weird itchy feeling started to come up. Yes, another one. This time not on our heads, but on our boobs. After a certain amount of time the itchiness became worse and worse. We were desperately looking at each other through our snorkel goggles while we were scratching our boobs like crazy. After one day, a big rash (read: tiny red spots and pimples) appeared and we lost all our sexiness. We ran to the pharmacy and got 2 different kind of pills and a cream. Apparently there was some kind of weird algae, due to the sea’s calmness and because of that bacterias could grow faster than usual. They told us it would take at least a month to get rid of it, and yes, it was a month indeed. So if any part of your body starts to itch like crazy, get out of the water immediately!

Burn burn burn!

Besides being clumsy, we’re also somewhat white and we can’t handle too much sun. When we were stupid teenage girls we strongly believed in: ‘better burnt than white’, but now we know this is complete bullshit. With our current belief ‘better be safe than sorry’, the first activity of our day is putting sunscreen all over our bodies. Unfortunately, as prepared as we thought we were in this case, there are tiny little parts of your body you’ll easily forget about. For example your eyelids. After taking a short nap in de sun, our eyelids felt like fireballs and our eyes started to get infected (even just winking hurt). Another bad idea is to cover your lips with shiny lip balm before tanning. Every sunbeam feels even more attracted to your sparkly lips and it won’t take long before a big burning blister starts to appear. It really looks like you’re having the worst herpes outbreak. And there we lost all our sexiness again.

We guess things need to happen before you realize they could occur. We found it out the hard way and we hope you’ll learn from it. We would like to finish with some random, but useful advice to make your lives better: always put a bag of chips, a bottle of water and can of coke next to your bed before passing out completely drunk. It will help. Or find a nice (boy)friend that will bring you french fries with lots of mayonaise as breakfast in bed – the ultimate cure for us. In Guatemala they have “Alkaseltzer Extreme” to help you recover from your hangover (take 2!) and in Mexico they have “Té de poléo”, a special tea that will make you feel better. Oh and bring enough condoms and tampons while traveling to Central America, they are really expensive!